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[分享]英文的Jokes,喜欢的朋友来阿

楼层直达
级别: 新手上路
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2002-12-27
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我的快乐就是大家的快乐.


Mike walked up to his teacher's desk, holding a report card with a big red F. "If I were you," said Mike, "I would change this while you still can." "Why is that?" asked the teachers. "Because my daddy told me that if I brought home one more failing report card, someone was going to get a beating."


A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch every night to eat their fill. After some thought, he made a sign that read, " WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. A week later, the farmer was surveying his field. To his satisfaction, no watermelons were missing, but a sign next to his read, " NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Which animal keeps the best time?
A watch dog.

Who are the longest speakers?
Prisoners -- they can spend a lifetime on a single sentence.

Where can you find an ocean without water?
On a map.

What kind of clothing does a house wear?
Address.

Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
All of them.

Why shouldn't you wear snow boots?
Because they'll melt.

Why do doctors have to keep their tempers?
Because they don't want to lose their patients.

Patient: Please Doctor, you must help me, I think I'm losing my memory.
Doctor: Is that so! For how long have you had this problem?
Patient: What problem?

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50 for three questions", replied the lawyer."Isn't that awfully steep?"
Yes," the lawyer said, " and what was your third question?"

Why are movie stars cool?
Because they have so many fans.

Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink?
Because they can't dress themselves.

Father: How were your test scores, Son?
Son: Underwater, Dad.
Father: What do you mean underwater?
Son: You know, below C level.

Why are people who live on a hill never trustworthy?
Because they're not on the level.

How do you find a lost rabbit?
Make a noise like a carrot.

Happy New Year!! Wish your guys dreams all become ture!!!
级别: 小朋友
注册时间:
2002-08-10
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只看该作者 5楼 发表于: 2003-01-03
i like jokes ,cos it let me feel better when i am surfing on the internet

你越是想忘记一个人时,
其实你越会记得他。
因为你不想被人拒绝,
所以要知道先拒绝人。
[link]
级别: 元老
注册时间:
2002-04-27
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只看该作者 4楼 发表于: 2003-01-03
they r like quizzes rather than jokes, i think:D:D

i like, where u sleep
when u sleep, next to me
i like, where u sleep
here

cause our lips, can touch
and our cheeks, can brush
our lips, can touch
here

u r the one that lies close to me
and whispers "hello, i've missed u quite terribly"
i fell in love with u suddenly
that there's no place else i could be but here in ur arms~ : )
级别: 元老
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2002-10-03
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只看该作者 3楼 发表于: 2003-01-03
Re: [分享]英文的Jokes,喜欢的朋友来阿
引用
最初由 shindon hikaru 发布
我的快乐就是大家的快乐.


Mike walked up to his teacher's desk, holding a report card with a big red F. "If I were you," said Mike, "I would change this while you still can." "Why is that?" asked the teachers. "Because my daddy told me that if I brought home one more failing report card, someone was going to get a beating."


A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch every night to eat their fill. After some thought, he made a sign that read, " WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. A week later, the farmer was surveying his field. To his satisfaction, no watermelons were missing, but a sign next to his read, " NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Which animal keeps the best time?
A watch dog.

Who are the longest speakers?
Prisoners -- they can spend a lifetime on a single sentence.

Where can you find an ocean without water?
On a map.

What kind of clothing does a house wear?
Address.

Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
All of them.

Why shouldn't you wear snow boots?
Because they'll melt.

Why do doctors have to keep their tempers?
Because they don't want to lose their patients.

Patient: Please Doctor, you must help me, I think I'm losing my memory.
Doctor: Is that so! For how long have you had this problem?
Patient: What problem?

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50 for three questions", replied the lawyer."Isn't that awfully steep?"
Yes," the lawyer said, " and what was your third question?"

Why are movie stars cool?
Because they have so many fans.

Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink?
Because they can't dress themselves.

Father: How were your test scores, Son?
Son: Underwater, Dad.
Father: What do you mean underwater?
Son: You know, below C level.

Why are people who live on a hill never trustworthy?
Because they're not on the level.

How do you find a lost rabbit?
Make a noise like a carrot.


thanks a lot~~they r funny~

引用
If you smile, the world smiles with you

:D yup, i believe it..


"Never apologize for saying what you feel. It's like apologizing for being real."
级别: 圣骑士
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2002-10-16
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只看该作者 2楼 发表于: 2003-01-03
I always smile to the beauty but they always give me XXXXX
(They want to kick my XXX)

级别: 新手上路
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2002-12-27
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只看该作者 1楼 发表于: 2003-01-03
If you smile, the world smiles with you

Happy New Year!! Wish your guys dreams all become ture!!!
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